Foreign Hoardes Threaten Native Species

I'm sure this article about the "invasion" of Scottish waters by a seaweed usually found in the Pacific Ocean was not written by racists, but isn't it funny how easily the language of nationalism and immigration can migrate to the field of marine biology?

What do immigrants and Japanese seaweed have in common? They both out breed us:

"Conservationists believe the seaweed's rapid growth could potentially threaten other native species."

The danger of this dangerously fertile and adaptible foreign seaweed is that it will damage and eventually replace the much less fertile, more fragile (pampered, you might say) native species. Conservationists are disgusted at the thought. We need to protect our own because, well, you know:

"At the moment we don't know what impact it will have on marine wildlife, although it is likely it will reduce the diversity of our native seaweeds by outgrowing them, as it has in other parts of Europe," she said."

A dire warning indeed. Clearly our European brothers and sisters have already come under the iron grip of this invading watery menace. It's tentacles have now reached our shores and we must act.

Here's some advice:

...it is important boat users and others take care not to spread it further."

You get that, then? Don't let the foreigners get into or onto your boat or you'll spread them all over the place.

I'm absolutely petrified. I mean, I'm not seaweedist or anything but surely it's only right and proper that we look after our own? What's wrong with that? We can't be expected to provide a home for every species of seaweed that happens to weedle its way into our delicate eco-system, can we? To be honest, I think the people over at Scottish Seaweed First! have it right.

You've been warned Scotland. Now, arise and expell the foreign hoardes! (Unless they make a tasty soup, in which case, some of them can stay).